Falling in love is easy
                 But staying in love is something very special

Couples come to therapy to experience, develop and increase the level of intimacy and satisfaction they experience in their relationships.

Couples also seek therapy to solve problems and to learn how to resolve conflicts. 

When couples come to therapy to work on their relationships or marriage they most often request help with communication.

Many excellent books are written about these things.

Why do so many couples ask for communication skills and intimacy training when they come to therapy?

Couples ask for communication skills and intimacy training because they have some awareness that clearly communicating and intimately connecting with their partner on a continuous basis is an important ingredient in successful coupling and marital satisfaction. 

Couples are right about this.

In couple relationships and marriages, the ongoing practice of sharing, receiving and affirming each member of the couple’s personal experience is positively correlated with relational satisfaction, health, and longevity.

Intimacy, communication and conflict resolution skills, which are so necessary to the vitality of each person and the couple or marital relationship, must be learned and used if the relationship or marriage is to become and remain intimate. There is no substitute for this.

The majority of couples do not begin their relationship or marriage equipped with intimacy, communication and conflict resolution skills, they must learn them.

What counts in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.                      Daniel Goleman

How can couples learn intimacy, communication and conflict resolution skills?

How can a therapist provide couples with these intimacy, communication and conflict resolution skills when they seek therapy?

What is the most effective treatment for working with couples?

Therapists, who are marriage friendly and relationship friendly, are expert in working with couples and the issues they face through out their couple relationship life cycle are well equipped to handle and answer these questions and issues--and to recommend books that support relationships.

These are the questions I answer and address each day as I conduct therapy with couples and do training, supervision and workshops for therapists, supervisors and interns.

Are you having problems in your marriage?

Want to make your relationship better?

Need more effective communication skills?

Want more love, support and affection?

If your answer is yes to these questions, contact Lynne Azpeitia at (310) 828-7121 or by e-mail to make an appointment and  find out how she can help.

Lynne Azpeitia is a member of the National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists .

Couple & Marriage Counseling & Therapy

About Marriage & Relationship Counseling

Books for Couples

10 Ways to Perk Up Your Relationship
Darby Saxbe
If you've ever gotten relationship advice, you've probably heard plenty of don'ts. Don't nag. Don't stonewall. Don't blame. Don't leave the toilet seat up, don't squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, and definitely don't assume he's that into you when he's just not. Well, don't listen....More

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?
Dr. John Gottman
One of the most important features of successful couple relationships is the quality of the friendship. Do you know your partner's inner world? Take the quiz below and find out.....More

The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters

Tara Siegel Bernard

If you ask married people why their marriage works, they are probably not going to say it's because they found their financial soul mate.  But if they are lucky, they have. Marrying a person who shares your attitudes about money might just be the smartest financial decision you will ever make. In fact, when it comes to finances, your marriage is likely to be your most valuable asset — or your largest liability...More

Daily Temperature Reading (DTR)
Originated by Virginia Satir
PAIRS seminars are known for the practical, proven skills participants learn that help them create and sustain successful relationships. One of the first skills taught in PAIRS is the Daily Temperature Reading, which was originally developed by Virginia Satir. The "DTR" is invaluable for couples in any stage of relationship, as well as for parents, children, entire families, friends and even co-workers. Traditionally, PAIRS suggest you set aside 15 minutes to a half-hour as often as daily to do a DTR with the significant people in your life.  More….

Why Infidelity Happens
Drs. Evelyn and Paul Moschetta
Nothing shakes a marriage to its core like an extra marital affair. Nothing. Not money problems, not interfering in-laws, not poor communication, not kid burnout and not colliding careers. None of these come even close. An outside affair blows through a marriage like a tornado. It turns everything upside down and inside out. Most of all it leaves trust, sacred to any marriage, in shreds. Rekindling that trust is essential but it’s difficult, tricky business.  More …

Links
Smart Marriages.com

The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists